5 Questions You Will Be Asked During the Holidays

Another semester is now over, or even a first college semester to some.  So, it’s finally time to pack up and move out of that uncomfortable, confined, heated dorm room and back to your queen sized memory foam mattress back at home.  Time to move back home where you have your own bathroom, nutritious food, and heating that actually works and is controllable.  As with every semester coming to a close, there is that three or four-day window for professors to post up your final grades.  However, most of you are probably staring at the grades screen with beads of sweat running down your face in anticipation to see you didn’t fuck up.  Since college is a hard fucking part of your life, I imagine most of you are doing this – I’ll admit that I am as well.  Also if you went ahead and decided to audit a class – where you just go to class but don’t get a grade, usually used for people like me who just think the class is way too hard – get ready for your parents to rip the shit out of you for wasting their money for basically nothing.  On the other hand, particularly with the fall semester coming to a close, you might find yourself during the holidays answering questions from your family members.  Some family members do not seem to realize that you are too young to really know what you are doing in life, but ask you anyways just to feel superior to others from knowing that their niece or nephew is going to become a CEO someday.  With that being said, here are 5 questions, asked by your family, you will encounter during the holiday festivities.

So, what are you majoring in?

I feel like some family members don’t believe there is any real major unless it has the words “business,” or “advertising,” or “biology,” or “chemistry.”  I can vouch for that because when I declared my major – Professional Writing – the usual response was Oh that sounds interesting!  What is that about?  And once I mentioned I was minoring in Advertising, they seemed a bit more comfortable with the major I picked.  So, if you are majoring in the Arts & Sciences section at your college, be ready for that response.  Conversely, if you don’t have your mind made up on a major be ready to respond with I am just exploring right now.  Which is the worst thing to say, it leaves a little taste of sadness in your mouth.  Basically the only thing they here is I really have no idea! 

Any girls/boys you are interested in?

This is most annoying to me because I have my parents ask me this every time I come home, now I have to deal with my other family asking me the same thing.  Sometimes I am seeing one, but just to not share the morose truth I make up a name.  Now your larger family will want to know more about this partner you have.  They will even act curious into why she is not at with you visiting your family as well.  Bringing your girlfriend or boyfriend to Christmas dinner at your grandparents’ is more for potential couples or if you have been dating since high school (I feel sorry for you if that is your case).  Therefore be ready to answer questions about his or her name, address, major, hair color, and favorite hobby.  Also, enlighten them in the fact that your girlfriend or boyfriend is not a potential wife or husband and they spend time with their family during the holidays.  Just. Like. Everybody. Else.


Do you have a job?

My parents give me money…why the fuck would I need a job right now?  (Actually don’t respond like this even though you know you are thinking it.  Just say you’re too busy with schoolwork.)

How are the dorms?

Oh they’re just great!  Besides sharing a bathroom with thirty others, getting kicked out of my room because my roommate needs some “alone time,” sleeping on a mattress made of sandstone, not able to control my heat or air-conditioning, living with a roommate who snores louder than a chainsaw, and having my neighbor keeping me up from pounding his girlfriend everything is just great!

Since your larger family members went to college when the dorms were state-of-the-art in their time, doesn’t mean everything is still hunky-dory for everyone else.

What do you want to do after college?

Well I am not even 20 and I am not a senior so I guess I might just wait until then.

This question is similar to them asking about your major if you are undecided.  Sure you are majoring in business management but I don’t think your plan after college is to sit in a cubicle all day, everyday for forty years (maybe fifty if the economy keeps fucking up).

Happy holidays everyone!

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