I bet many of you were either luckily near campus for the great parties for the New Year or you might have been with your family with your drunken dad dangling the Jameson whiskey over your head and just out of your reach. For me, I was lucky enough to escape to the campus parties and just drink myself silly. With a fifth of Bacardi to myself, I was ready to just get completely fucking wasted. Unfortunately, this party I had to drive through and was not excited to sleep at the place either on top of someone or hopefully with someone. Neither of those things happened.
Immediately when I arrived the drinking started and shot after shot just slipped down my throat. It might be just me being drunk but I always feel like the rich kid when I am walking around the bitches with a nice glass bottle of rum in my hands even though it was only twenty bucks…well twenty five since my buddy who is over-the-age charged a delivery fee. Friggin jew. But that didn’t matter, I was in a good fucking mood.
As my memory “might” recall (and I say might because I probably don’t) we made sure to just take a shot every five minutes we counted down. So yeah, you could say my bloodstream was just alcohol at that time. Then the count down. 5…4…3…2…1…Happy New Year! I had the advantage of being next to the hottest girl at the party at that time so we locked eyes, sucked face for a while too. At some other point while we were still celebrating, I made the stupid decision of placing the rest of my rum on some table so I could use both hand to control my piss aim. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR ALCOHOL! Just like I knew it, I came back to the table and it was long gone. By that time I was feeling it. The alcohol I mean. Then it hit me. Right then I just plowed through the entire crowd like a linebacker trying to get to the quarterback. With throw up almost pouring out of my mouth, I got out front and then just let go. It was almost like the cascades of Niagara Falls were coming out of my mouth. As a puddle formed of that New Years dinner I had to step back and adjust so no chunks would dirty my new shoes. Then came the come down. I had my keys and my car but I wasn’t stupid enough to drive drunk. I didn’t want to stay there, all of my friends were out too, so there was only one way of getting home; my parents. For gods sake I did not want to call want to call my parents at two in the morning, but I sure did not want to stay at this house for the night and drive home completely hung over. So I sucked it up and had to wake them up.
Of course the first one who picked up the phone had to be my dad. Derek I hope you’re not getting arrested again. No dad I just want to go home…and I’m drunk. Thank god he understood, as he was a college student before and in just a while both my parents showed up to take me home. That was the first my parents ever saw me wasted and last time my parents will ever see me wasted. Out of the goodness of his heart, my dad even went back in the morning to get my car. But whatever the case, I fucked the hottest bitch there, time well spent.
So if and when you go to a college party, whether it is New Years or a regular Friday night;
- Never lose track of the alcohol you bring with you
- Keep track of your limit
- Find someone besides your parents who can take you home
Happy New Year everybody! 2014 is gonna be sweet!